I’m learning something new every day when it comes to being a mom, and that probably won’t stop…ever. I’m glad though, I feel like I’m growing as a parent, wife and as a person in general. I wrote about things I learned while pregnant with the twins, observations and feelings I never could have expected until I was actually pregnant. Now almost 3 months into being a new twin mom, I’ve been reflecting on how much has changed, and how much I’ve learned in just a few months.
1. They grow so fast.
It’s so cliche, and everyone says “enjoy this time, they grow fast” but I never truly understood it until now. My little 5 pounders are now growing out of some of their 3 month clothes at 2 and a half months and it makes me proud and sad all at the same time. One sure fire way to get them to grow is to go shopping for them. They will most definitely grow out of anything new that I buy for them quicker than any hand me downs. Lesson learned.
2. Schedules rule.
I’ve always been an organized / planner / type A person so it’s a great thing that babies like schedules. Charlie was not that way, but he quickly adapted and now I find him saying things like, “well, that won’t fit into our schedule” as I secretly laugh at the irony of those words coming out of my non – planner husband’s mouth. We have a love / hate relationship with schedules now. Once we get used to a routine, they change. So we’re definitely learning flexibility.
3. Family has a new meaning.
Charlie and I are both very close to our families but something happened on December 22, 2014 that I didn’t expect. Suddenly we became our family and it felt different. The 4 of us became our priority and doing things to strengthen our bond became a conscious thing we do, more so than when it was just the 2 of us.
4. Breast feeding is a roller coaster.
Everyone said that it was hard and I didn’t know what they meant until now. No one said why or how it was so difficult, just that it was. Well, I’ll tell you.
Emotionally it’s something that bonds you to your baby(ies). I didn’t understand that, but now I do, and the fear of not being able to provide nourishment for my babies is such an emotional hardship.
Physically it hurts, even when you’re doing it right. Maybe its different with just one baby but I had a rough go around. I experienced under supply, then over supply, clogged ducts, mastitis, painful engorgement. I’ve had to take supplements, antibiotics, eat certain foods, apply ice, heat, tea bags, salt water, olive oil… And then there’s the back pain. It’s definitely not a comfortable experience.
It makes you kinda crazy mentally too. I admit I’m an over thinker when it comes to this. I’m constantly timing them when they eat, even weighing them before and after feedings to see how much they were taking in. I’m always wondering if they are eating enough and if I’ll maintain enough supply. There are so many days when I just want to quit and desperately need a break from wrestling them into a position where they can latch while both screaming in hunger, then one screaming because they either have to burp for the 8th time, poo, or are frustrated with too much milk, not enough milk, or because their sister just poked them in the eye. And then the other does the same thing and I have to play the guessing game again all while keeping the other latched.
And then there are those feeding sessions when they both eat so peacefully and pass out full and happy, or when they’re too busy smiling at me to eat, or when they grab on to each other’s hand or rub each other’s head. I took a picture of that moment to look back on because I’ve had way too many days where I need a reminder that it’s completely worth it.
5. Parenthood is a club.
When I was pregnant, I would see another pregnant person and smile thinking we were in a “club” (kinda like jeep people). Apparently that isn’t the case because no one ever smiled back- OK maybe not ever but I received far less smiles back than I imagined. I don’t know what it was, maybe pregnant people are in this competition with each other that I wasn’t aware of. Did anyone else experience that? Anyway- I feared that it would be the same way once I became a mom, but I’m pleasantly surprised. Charlie and I both feel as if we have a new bond with other parents. It’s like an understanding between each other that makes us all feel welcome. Or maybe the smiles are actually laughs watching me juggle two babies. Oh well, I’ll take the smiles either way.
6. I’ve become a baby-talker.
I always cringed at baby talkers, and now I catch myself saying things like “sleepy-weepy” and “I’m hungries” to my husband. The first step is admitting you have a problem…
7. Sleeping in is a thing of the past.
I knew that would be the case once kids came along but man was it an adjustment. Now there are mornings when we wake up and the sun is up and we’re in a sudden panic because that rarely happens anymore- especially now with daylight savings (by the way, whoever came up with daylight savings never had babies apparently).
8. Mom guilt is a real thing.
I’ve become really hard on myself about everything. I’ll question if I gave enough equal snuggle time to each baby, if I played with them enough or made them do enough tummy time. If I was the best I could be for them and if I was cranky, I beat myself up. I’ll give myself the hardest time if I just feel like I want to give them bottles instead of nursing them one more time that day. I’m putting this in writing because I have to constantly remind myself that I’m doing the best I can and that’s all I can do.
9. It’s addicting.
Being a mom is hard work and I didn’t know how I’d adjust, but I absolutely love it. It just makes me want more kids. Like a lot more…soon. Kidding, I’ll wait at least until the twins are 5 months…kidding again.
10. We are doubly blessed.
I get comments from strangers: “poor you”, “I’m glad I only have one”, “you can’t because you have twins”, “double trouble”. And then there are the stares! It’s like we’re disabled or something. It’s probably harder than one baby, we have to do everything twice, but I can’t say that for certain because I don’t know. One thing I do know is that I can’t imagine our lives any different. We are so thankful God gave us the miracle of twins. It’s such a blessing seeing those two faces everyday smiling at us and watching their bond grow with each other. And it’s the best feeling knowing that they’ll always have each other.